Merry Christmas Everyone!

For Those of You FEELING the Christmas Spirit

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right *^%$#@
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to
call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung
up. I wrote his number down with the word 'jerk' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a really bad day, I'd call him up and say, "You're a jerk", hang up
before he could respond, and laugh to myself. It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my scheduled 'jerk' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're a jerk" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first jerk (I had his
number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW jerk, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd , in Ogden . It's a yellow
rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're a flippin' jerk"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two jerks to call.

One day, I had had an EXTREMELY frustrating day. I came up with an
idea. This was gonna be good.......

I called Jerk #1.

He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're a jerk" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still
there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Jerk, I live at 34 Oak Tree
Blvd, in Ogden , with a yellow rambler, and I have a black BMW parked in
front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, jerk," and hung up.

Then I called Jerk #2.

He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, jerk,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your (well, let's not get into what all he was
going to kick),"
I answered, "Well, jerk, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on
my way to 34 Oak Tree Blvd , in Ogden , and that I was going to kill the
guy who married my ex-girlfriend.

Then I called Channel 5 News about the gang war going down in Oak Tree
Blvd. in Ogden.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Ogden . I got there just in
time to watch two Jerks beating the crap out of each other in front of
six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

5,6,7,8

I think I'm going to teach the girls in my dance classes this on Monday.
And if I ever decide to become a trooper, I'll definitely have to keep this in mind:

2007

~ Get out of my comfort zone
~ Be more flexible
~ Make it to my brother's graduation
~ Have more patience
~ Be grateful for my calling at church
~ Try at least 5 new things
~ Work on our Food Storage
~ Keep better in touch with family and friends
~ Take more pictures
~ Learn how to take better pictures
~ Explore the OBX
~ Start surfing again & go snowboarding at least twice
~ Take a trip with just John-- let the girls visit grandparents
~ Make it to L.A. over the Summer
~ Boston too
~ Stay on schedule with events I have planned
~ Lose more weight
~ Eat Better
~ Don't be afraid to speak my mind
~ Be nicer
~ Do more service
~ Close up shop on some Baggage
~ Listen to more music
~ Finish Production site
~ Be more spontaneous
~ Get my husband to the beach more
~ Let life happen for my girls (not be so strict with them~ yes, I'm a mean mom)
~ Go to more concerts
~ Try to meet at least one person from my "Always Wanted To" list
~ Make more "me" time and not feel guilty taking it

That's it for now

Goodbye Summer

Summer is officially over. It was 77 degrees last Friday, and this Friday dropped to 21.
Ran some errands with my girls yesterday and saw my dream home #4. In my life I have seen 3 other homes that I have absolutely loved, all different from the next. I saw this house while it was being built and it's finally done. If anyone's interested it's selling for 7 Million. If anyone's interested in buying it for me please email me.
These are all some random pictures I took. All not that very good. I don't give some of these shots justice, it was much better in person.

...."And You'll Pull Her Nice"

If anyone's seen the movie Cars, then you'll know who Bessie is. I've talked about the construction on our lane/road (I'm partially glad that we're moving away from that) and what a pain in my side it has been.

Well, this was our Bessie. Bessie was like our own action figure...and on some days while my girls were watching Cars, Bessie created real life... a Surround Sound, if you will-- type of effect. Our action figure however comes not with Lightning McQueen, (we would only be so lucky) but with fowl-mouthed men that have 200 different sayings ALL including the F-word.

We have: Hector, Ortega, and Miguel -- they curse in Spanish AND English. Billy-Bob and Billy-Bob Jr. that curse while using Southern slang...I still don't know which words are worse, and Dante-- he especially likes saying "I quit" after meeting his quota.

You know the part in a movie when a woman is holding her child, then someone says something truly horrific and the woman grabs her kid tighter and runs out? Well, that would be me but standing on the front deck of our own home. No where to escape but to run inside real fast before my daughter's real first word is S**T.

They're done now, and I am truly thankful.

So thanks Bessie for creating a smooth road for our vehicles to ride on, and thanks for taking your accessories with you.

Dude...

This guy is one of my favorite comedians. I tried really hard not to put him on my blog b/c I wasn't sure if other people would think he's funny. But this is my blog. So to all you dry-humored people, enjoy!
And for those who don't laugh, well, I'll try to write a more mature post some time down the road...

Doubts

We all have songs that will totally remind us of those certain someones in our lives that didn't quite make it.

For me, a few would be:

- Summer School Guy-who had two Harleys and always sit on my seat to dry it off after it rained while we were out.

-First Love Guy- who became the ultimate comparison for all the other guys I dated

-Perfect Song Guy- who had the same exact music taste as me and would always tell me about other new groups etc. (this may sound like no big deal, but it was to me b/c I love music so much)

- In the Band Guy- who wrote a song for me

-Older Relative of Best Friend Guy- who I had a crush on FOR E-V-E-R...and finally asked me out

-Out of my League Guy- who I thought was absolutely HOT and kissed me out of the blue

-Awesome City Guy- who took me to the rooftop of a skyscraper just to show me shooting stars to make wishes on

-Almost Perfect Guy- who asked me to marry him in the most breathtaking way

And the list goes (slightly) on...all these relationships were wonderful, and I could, at the time, see what life would be like with some of these 'guys'. And every time I hear certain songs, they will without a doubt bring me back to that place in time.

I heard a song a long time ago that pretty much sums up the reasons (no matter how severe or slight) of why they never came into fruition...I trusted my judgment.


{and above all, why I'm with my Made-Just-For-Me Guy.}

You'll take me on a journey
And be there till the end
It won't be an uphill struggle
On you I can depend

You promised me a dream home
With roses round the door
You'll cover me in diamonds
There's nothing I want more
And
You'll be strong
And you'll turn me on
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll be true and be faithful too
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
What if I'm right?

'Cos if the rain starts falling
You'll protect me with your coat
And you'll always tape the football
And let me watch my soap

You'll always be as handsome
And your weight will never gain
And when I give birth to our children
I will feel no pain
And
You'll bring me flowers
[ these lyrics found on www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
And you'll bring the showers
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll say I'm thin and bring the washing in
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
What if I'm right?

You'll always keep the magic
The tender love and care
And when you need to change the light bulb
You won't hand me the chair
And when we're tired of the city
And we find a country home
You'll sell your vinyl records {Now, that's true love...I love that line}
And go get us a loan

You'll be my sympathetic lover
And won't steal the covers
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You won't forsake me
Your mother won't hate me
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll be strong
And you'll turn me on
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll be true
And be faithful too
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
What if I'm right?