Merry Christmas Everyone!

For Those of You FEELING the Christmas Spirit

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right *^%$#@
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to
call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung
up. I wrote his number down with the word 'jerk' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a really bad day, I'd call him up and say, "You're a jerk", hang up
before he could respond, and laugh to myself. It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my scheduled 'jerk' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're a jerk" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first jerk (I had his
number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW jerk, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd , in Ogden . It's a yellow
rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're a flippin' jerk"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two jerks to call.

One day, I had had an EXTREMELY frustrating day. I came up with an
idea. This was gonna be good.......

I called Jerk #1.

He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're a jerk" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still
there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Jerk, I live at 34 Oak Tree
Blvd, in Ogden , with a yellow rambler, and I have a black BMW parked in
front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, jerk," and hung up.

Then I called Jerk #2.

He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, jerk,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your (well, let's not get into what all he was
going to kick),"
I answered, "Well, jerk, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on
my way to 34 Oak Tree Blvd , in Ogden , and that I was going to kill the
guy who married my ex-girlfriend.

Then I called Channel 5 News about the gang war going down in Oak Tree
Blvd. in Ogden.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Ogden . I got there just in
time to watch two Jerks beating the crap out of each other in front of
six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

5,6,7,8

I think I'm going to teach the girls in my dance classes this on Monday.
And if I ever decide to become a trooper, I'll definitely have to keep this in mind:

2007

~ Get out of my comfort zone
~ Be more flexible
~ Make it to my brother's graduation
~ Have more patience
~ Be grateful for my calling at church
~ Try at least 5 new things
~ Work on our Food Storage
~ Keep better in touch with family and friends
~ Take more pictures
~ Learn how to take better pictures
~ Explore the OBX
~ Start surfing again & go snowboarding at least twice
~ Take a trip with just John-- let the girls visit grandparents
~ Make it to L.A. over the Summer
~ Boston too
~ Stay on schedule with events I have planned
~ Lose more weight
~ Eat Better
~ Don't be afraid to speak my mind
~ Be nicer
~ Do more service
~ Close up shop on some Baggage
~ Listen to more music
~ Finish Production site
~ Be more spontaneous
~ Get my husband to the beach more
~ Let life happen for my girls (not be so strict with them~ yes, I'm a mean mom)
~ Go to more concerts
~ Try to meet at least one person from my "Always Wanted To" list
~ Make more "me" time and not feel guilty taking it

That's it for now

Goodbye Summer

Summer is officially over. It was 77 degrees last Friday, and this Friday dropped to 21.
Ran some errands with my girls yesterday and saw my dream home #4. In my life I have seen 3 other homes that I have absolutely loved, all different from the next. I saw this house while it was being built and it's finally done. If anyone's interested it's selling for 7 Million. If anyone's interested in buying it for me please email me.
These are all some random pictures I took. All not that very good. I don't give some of these shots justice, it was much better in person.

...."And You'll Pull Her Nice"

If anyone's seen the movie Cars, then you'll know who Bessie is. I've talked about the construction on our lane/road (I'm partially glad that we're moving away from that) and what a pain in my side it has been.

Well, this was our Bessie. Bessie was like our own action figure...and on some days while my girls were watching Cars, Bessie created real life... a Surround Sound, if you will-- type of effect. Our action figure however comes not with Lightning McQueen, (we would only be so lucky) but with fowl-mouthed men that have 200 different sayings ALL including the F-word.

We have: Hector, Ortega, and Miguel -- they curse in Spanish AND English. Billy-Bob and Billy-Bob Jr. that curse while using Southern slang...I still don't know which words are worse, and Dante-- he especially likes saying "I quit" after meeting his quota.

You know the part in a movie when a woman is holding her child, then someone says something truly horrific and the woman grabs her kid tighter and runs out? Well, that would be me but standing on the front deck of our own home. No where to escape but to run inside real fast before my daughter's real first word is S**T.

They're done now, and I am truly thankful.

So thanks Bessie for creating a smooth road for our vehicles to ride on, and thanks for taking your accessories with you.

Dude...

This guy is one of my favorite comedians. I tried really hard not to put him on my blog b/c I wasn't sure if other people would think he's funny. But this is my blog. So to all you dry-humored people, enjoy!
And for those who don't laugh, well, I'll try to write a more mature post some time down the road...

Doubts

We all have songs that will totally remind us of those certain someones in our lives that didn't quite make it.

For me, a few would be:

- Summer School Guy-who had two Harleys and always sit on my seat to dry it off after it rained while we were out.

-First Love Guy- who became the ultimate comparison for all the other guys I dated

-Perfect Song Guy- who had the same exact music taste as me and would always tell me about other new groups etc. (this may sound like no big deal, but it was to me b/c I love music so much)

- In the Band Guy- who wrote a song for me

-Older Relative of Best Friend Guy- who I had a crush on FOR E-V-E-R...and finally asked me out

-Out of my League Guy- who I thought was absolutely HOT and kissed me out of the blue

-Awesome City Guy- who took me to the rooftop of a skyscraper just to show me shooting stars to make wishes on

-Almost Perfect Guy- who asked me to marry him in the most breathtaking way

And the list goes (slightly) on...all these relationships were wonderful, and I could, at the time, see what life would be like with some of these 'guys'. And every time I hear certain songs, they will without a doubt bring me back to that place in time.

I heard a song a long time ago that pretty much sums up the reasons (no matter how severe or slight) of why they never came into fruition...I trusted my judgment.


{and above all, why I'm with my Made-Just-For-Me Guy.}

You'll take me on a journey
And be there till the end
It won't be an uphill struggle
On you I can depend

You promised me a dream home
With roses round the door
You'll cover me in diamonds
There's nothing I want more
And
You'll be strong
And you'll turn me on
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll be true and be faithful too
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
What if I'm right?

'Cos if the rain starts falling
You'll protect me with your coat
And you'll always tape the football
And let me watch my soap

You'll always be as handsome
And your weight will never gain
And when I give birth to our children
I will feel no pain
And
You'll bring me flowers
[ these lyrics found on www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
And you'll bring the showers
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll say I'm thin and bring the washing in
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
What if I'm right?

You'll always keep the magic
The tender love and care
And when you need to change the light bulb
You won't hand me the chair
And when we're tired of the city
And we find a country home
You'll sell your vinyl records {Now, that's true love...I love that line}
And go get us a loan

You'll be my sympathetic lover
And won't steal the covers
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You won't forsake me
Your mother won't hate me
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll be strong
And you'll turn me on
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
You'll be true
And be faithful too
But I've got my doubts and what if I'm right?
What if I'm right?

You know you grew up in the 80's/early 90's IF....

I think we've all gotten this E-Mail before...I thought it was funny, and unfortunately agreed to some of it!


1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE
2. You watched the Pound Puppies
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair" ...and can do the "Carlton".
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WHOA" comes from Joey on Blossom
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock ".
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars...and "spokey-dokes" or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!)
12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"on the big screen... and still know the turtles names
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM ". (She's truly outrageous.)
21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing " and all the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail Kids in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like #24, probably in neon colors, too)
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?" 36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up "
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You never got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39 You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41 You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples.
43. "Don't worry, be happy "
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do... getting yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)
46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BL ACK"
47. You remember boom boxes.. and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
48. You remember watching both "Gremlins " movies.
49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
50. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little Pony Tales "
51. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
53. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".
54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell ", the ORIGINAL class.
55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
56. You just sang those words to yourself.
57.You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
58. homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
59. You remember when mullets were cool!
60. You had a mullet!
61. You still sing "We are the World "
62. You tight rolled your jeans.
63. You owned a bannana clip
64. You remember "Where's the Beef?
65. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"
66. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
67. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!!!

Cooking, Cooking, Cooked

I am thankful that Thanksgiving is over!

#2. I Am Thankful For My Friends

DISCLAIMER: This story has a little alcohol involved in it, so if you think you may be offended, DON'T read it


I recently got back in touch with my old friend from 1st grade, Karin, that I went to private school with in Staten Island, NY. I was so excited that we found each other (and the fact that she strangely lives 2 hours aways from me!) that I started going through my old boxes to...you guessed it...find my first Diary. Thanks to the teachings of my mom, I used to write down EVERYTHING! Well, pretty much anyway.

As I was looking for it, I came across a notebook that I used to have in college. A simple piece of paper floated out of it onto the floor, and without a second guess, I knew what it was. It was my name written in this cool artwork that my friend Rich did for me in one of our Psych. classes. He was really good at drawing and one day in class, I asked him to do my name.

He was #88 on our football team and was so sarcastic. He was almost to the point of being mean! But deep down he was really sweet. He gave me a hard time whenever he would see me in the halls. John and I were always together and if I was alone, or walking with my girlfriends; the first thing that would come out of Rich's mouth (along with some of our other friends) were "Where's your boyfriend? Did you two have a fight, or just have surgery at the hip?" Something stupid like that. But the way he said it, was always to make me laugh.

There was a good group of us that had most of our Psychology classes together and we all sat in the same order in every class. We were all pretty close. Rich used to sit behind me and pull at my hair to wake me up if the teacher was coming. Or tell me to sit up if it was his turn to sleep...in order to hide him.

This monster of a guy that was on the football team too, Jimmy was the sweetest, and their friend who had the nick name "Hot Guy" sat across from us. He was a receiver. There would be these parties at Penn State and it was called for a weekend trip if you went.Whether games were held on Friday, or Saturday, you were gone till Sunday night, sometimes Monday morning and get back in time for your first class. Rich, Hot Guy and my other girlfriends would keep telling me that I should have come with them that weekend, and show pictures of all the fun they had. I was never allowed to go because I lived at home with my crazy dad and step-mother, but when I moved out...I was opened to a world that only party gods know of.

Our local parties were just as crazy, and the last party of October (the Daylight Savings Party...one more hour of fun, and to drink) was always held at the "football house". That's where the guys that were from out of state lived. I remember sitting in the living room where Rich and a few of our other friends were going back and forth with the funniest jokes and stories you ever heard. Granted every one was pretty much buzzed or drunk, but it was hilarious nonetheless. John and I were getting ready to leave and I saw Rich walking out. I thought he was going to drive, so I told John I would be right back, and went out the door.

He was standing at the end of the sidewalk and I yelled for him to get back inside. He asked me why I was out there and I told him I didn't want him to drive. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "You should know I wouldn't do anything like that! I'd get thrown off the team if I got caught anyway and you think I want that?" I was shivering like crazy...PA's not the warmest state around, and he yelled at me for not having a coat on. He took his off and put his arm around me and walked back inside. "I was just getting some air, that's all." He looked at me and said "You know, you're the first girl here that I've picked on so much that was still nice to me." I reminded him that I was nice, but I gave attitude right back at him. He started laughing and said Yeah, then said thanks for being a "cool girl". I thought it was weird to hear him say that since he's never serious but chalked it up to the tequila shots, and said thanks. Said goodbye and John and I left.

Unfortunately, after a long weekend (and too much partying at one time, I suppose) I got Pneumonia. It was awful, my voice gone and to even open my eyes was painful. It was a Monday morning, and I desperately tried to reach the phone to call my friend Jamie and tell her I couldn't go to school. I just laid there for what felt like forever till I heard the phone ring. It was Jamie telling me that school was delayed that morning. I could barely talk and told her I couldn't get to my window to see if it had snowed. She said "No Simone, didn't you hear?" I was like "No, what?" She said "Rich, Jay (Hot Guy), Tony, and Mike went down to Penn last night for a party and ended up in the hospital..."
She didn't finish her sentence, she said she didn't want to tell me anymore, to call John or Lynn and have them tell me. I was like "WHAT Jamie!" I don't know how at that point I was yelling but I was and she told me that Rich was killed. A girl who was driving on the other side of the highway was trying to reach for her cat, and swerved onto the other side hitting them head on. Jay called our friend Rebekah and made it down to State College in 1 hour. I don't know how she didn't get pulled over but she made it. Jamie was trying to tell me who was there and what happened to the other guys but I just blanked out.

I woke up with my friend Lynn, and Jamie in my room telling me I had to go to the hospital. I refused to go, but they forced me to. They skipped school and spent the day with me in the ER and waited for with me for my medication. I had to stay at Lynn's house and she and her mom took care of me for the week. I told John not to come by. I knew he had a busy schedule but he came to visit later anyway.

While we were waiting for my doctor, Lynn had her cell phone waiting to hear from Rebekah how the other guys were doing. We were crying one moment and the next trying to joke about the funny things Rich would say if he saw us. Rebekah called and said Jay was in surgery and didn't know much yet. The other guys Tony, and Mike weren't as bad but none of them were in any condition to play ball.

The end of that week was Rich's funeral in Connecticut (I think) and I couldn't go. Lynn's mom told me I had to stay b/c of the condition I was in. I was devastated. All my friends were getting ready to leave, and I was stuck in bed. The past week was so strange, and I can't remember much of it but I remember the day of his funeral, I cried so much. I sent a letter of sorrow to his parents and gave it to Lynn. Everyone had written something to give to the family.

The following week, I was getting better and was able to go to school. I got there early, and walked into my first class to see my friend Andrea sitting in Rich's seat behind mine. Her hand was passing back and forth over his desk, her eyes red. I sat down and looked at her and she said "You know, he finally asked me to Fall Dance last week." In a moment it felt like he was still there and I said "Finally! You know how long he was talking about that?"
Her- "You know how long I've been talking about that?!"
We started laughing, with tears starting to fall. We sat there in silence and she said, "I really have you to thank for getting us together."
me- "Why? Because I called him chicken enough times?"
her- "No, because he used to like you when you first came here. The day you said he was like a brother to you, he started talking to me about you. I didn't like him at first b/c I thought he was a pain in the ass. But we became best friends, and now..."
She started crying and I just hugged her. "And at least I have you as a friend instead of hating you for going out with him." We just started laughing again. I told her I would sit up in class if she felt like laying down, and I did.

There was a school ceremony that Wed. and more sadness. That night when I got home from practice, I got a letter in the mail from Rich's mom. She said the sweetest things, I felt a little more at ease.
The next football game we hosted was pretty hard, I don't even remember our routine, or cheers we did. I don't even remember if we won! I just remember standing there.

It's been 10 years this fall that my friend has been gone. I never understand why things happen the way they do. Two years later, another close friend of mine that was battling depression killed herself on Christmas Day.
I start hating myself thinking if there was something I could have done, they would still be here!!
All these other things I get warnings about, and why not them?!!
Another friend killed when I was in 9th grade, she called a few of us out of the blue that Saturday to tell us she loved us. Like she knew!
The last thing I heard another friend tell me before he died was to "stay good", and "we'll ditch together after spring break for old time's sake". He killed himself during the break.
All these people have their friends and family so why do I feel so responsible?

I've learned hard lessons that life is short. I am grateful for my family, and friends. And why we should treat each other in the best way we can. Say what we mean, do what we say. Figure out our problems and move on.
Friendship means a lot to me, and I appreciate the people who put up with me and all my flaws, short-comings, etc. (Lord knows I have many) but I hope I have shown my appreciation one way or another.
I've said this before, and it sounds mean when I say it but I don't have time for people who are fake. People who say they're friends, and then hurt you. I would trade in all my 'acquaintances' if it meant one more day with those friends I lost.

I'm going to see a girlfriend of mine next week to do some Christmas shopping and we haven't seen each other in a year. I am so excited and going to very much enjoy the day.
I'm going to email my 1st grade friend and tell her the entry I found in my Diary of us going to her house and putting on Whitney Houston's 45 record of "the Greatest Love of All" and singing it over and over again. And tell her I can't wait to get together with her after the holidays.
I'm going to miss my friend this Thanksgiving b/c every year growing up we would save the wish bones out of the Turkey and make a wish together.
I'm going to miss the friends I think about so often and wonder what they're up to b/c I have no idea where they are; but hope they're alive and well and have the best life anyone could have handed them.

I am sad today, but hopefully, in a new light, see this Thanksgiving as a new way of being truly thankful for my friends that are here with me, and have passed through my life.
I love and miss you all.

I Remember

All the fun things we did
Listening to music till 2 in the morning
Surprising me with City Lights, Waterfalls, Desert Moons
This song's for you...and this one, and this one
Whatever I wanted, you gave
Laughing at the silliest things
Taking ATVs to the edge of mountains
I dared you to take my breath away, and you did
Flying me to you, mailing me your heart
Diamonds sparkling around my neck
Tears in our eyes
Hearts breaking in two
Never meant to be
My favorite ring in your hand
Slipped back on my finger when we said goodbye...along with all the memories
Forgotten when you held her hand
"Is that the way we stand?"
Do you remember me?
I'm such a fool for you...

Happy Birthday

Do You Have To Let It Linger...

In A Word

If I could tell you in a word
How deeply these feelings flow,
And how with every passing night and day
They only seem to grow.
I'd search the whole world over
'Til eternal darkness fell,
I'd climb the stairway to Heaven
And walk through the fires of hell.
If I could show you in a glance
How much I really care,
I'd look up to the deep blue skies
And on wings I'd take you there.
I'd show you things of such beauty
That no one before you knew,
And I'd show you all of the beautiful things
I see when I look at you.
If I could show you in a word
I'd look to the Heavens above,
And all the angels would wisper to me
"The word you search for is 'LOVE' ".

written a long, long time ago

Okay, A Few More

Have a Nice Day Everyone....

Interesting...

Sesame Street...in the Ghetto

It's a sad, sad day when Kermit can no longer sing his "It's Not Easy Being Green" pain away.

This is What I Feel Like Today...Pictures are Worth a Million

(Except it has my name)

Greetings from Brooklyn

I usually just email pictures out to family and friends of our kids, but this was funny.

I was going crazy trying to get everything together for my classes I teach and I hear bang!, bang!, BANG!

My little Brooklyn has a temper beyond all.... She was in the dining room with my shoes banging the box onto the floor! She was getting so mad, then started laughing! I took some pictures because she looked so funny!

I can't leave Jalen out either... here are a few other random ones.
Sheba- hope Kaitlyn gets better! We miss and love you guys. Jalen is drawing a picture for Katey right now, RIGHT next to me!

(I'm so glad I have help picking out the right pictures of them!) ...And YES, that's ERIC w/a mohawk!

Top 5

Don't know why I'm on a movie kick... but one of my other favorites is High Fidelity for more reasons than I can write.
I saw that movie with one of the funniest guy friends I ever had. We had so much fun together.
We had this thing where we'd talk about our "Top 5" lists of stuff, and funny enough...they had that all over the movie! Just had a Top 5 tonight, so I thought I would write it down before I forgot.
I'm sure I'll be expanding on this post, as I do when I talk to my friends from my college years.

Top 5 WORST (or DUMBEST phrases) I ever heard a GIRL say:

5. You totally make me laugh, but I'm such an easy-laugher!

4. I have blue contacts, so I guess when people ask me what color my eyes are, I tell them blue
when I have them in.

3. I just made out with your friend, but I really wanted you.

2. ....Conversation: [Guy]: I think strippers are hot, I would love to date a stripper.
[Girl who's never stepped foot into a club before]:
I'm a stripper! I'll strip for you right now if you'll go out with me!
(this conversation was NOT held a strip club)

1. [Guy at club]: You're so cool! I'm so glad it doesn't bother you that I have a wife.
[Girl]: No! As long as you're not married, I really don't care!
(This was overheard at a dance club)

Lesson to learn: Clubs are BAD.

"They are just, a bunch, of Pansies...."

I love this movie, not because I've had to watch it a million times over for the sake of my kids (okay, sometimes myself) and have learned all the words in it.

...And not because the leader of the little "fuzzbuckets" speaks with an Indian accent either. It's just so funny, and has some dry humor in it which I love.

So I was watching it today and it dawned on me that I was behaving like Alex the Lion. I know I've written about living on our beach-surrounded island, and it's absolutely beautiful...blah, blah, blah. By no means should I be taking for granted where I live. It has brought my family closer together, and the lifestyle here matches mine and John's personality very well.

But, there's a part of me that is longing for the Big Lights. The Big City. The Big Apple.

We lived in VA prior to moving here, and I was only an hour flight away from my home-town. Yes, I lived in AZ for 8 years, and I have a lot of memories there, but NY is my first love, my home-town.

Now I'm further away (not that much, but enough to be sad) from the airport, and even further from a Nordstrom's. I would even settle for a TARGET!...which is what I told my long lost friend from 1st grade (hi Karin!) and my sister. I should be grateful for all the little boutiques and shops we have around here, you won't find anything like them anywhere! But what I wouldn't give to see a BCBG, or Bebe, even a Cinnabon?!!! Betsy Johnson, berkly-girl??? No? ...Okay.

Am I over-reacting? YES! I tell myself. I'm living in a place where people come to retire! Where people come to get away from the hustle and bustle!

You can take the girl out of the City, but you can't take the City out of the girl.
I remember the first day we landed in AZ from NY, I was in shock to see all the "flatness". Worse than being an A-cup. This was bad. I was hot, and wanted to cry. "Where are all the buildings?" I think was my second question, after "Is it always this hot?" My sisters and I sat in silence the whole way to our house. I think it was a mix of sadness and shock. And a little dehydration.
It's not that bad...and I'm not 9 anymore. I have embraced everywhere I've lived, but mostly b/c it was on the east coast and I'm an east coast girl at heart.

So why is this so different? Well, it's not Long Island - that's not really an island; THIS is.

You have to take two bridges over the Atlantic to get here, and then 2 more to get to my island. We are in a paradise hell. I say that because I have been mourning my own boutiques...my New York boutiques. My Starbuck's, my favorite wedding magazine!

But that's all changed after today! Like Alex, I have learned to love the fish that really tastes like steak. (If you haven't seen the movie, rent it b/c I'm not explaining this).

I am really loving where I am...and going to love it even more. I will venture out and see the other little shoppes, and gourmet food stores (which I really love going to) and not feel like I'm betraying any other cities one bit! I will stop being a "pansy" and "smile and wave" at all I see.
{I will also secretly love all the cute surfer guys that "smile and wave" at me}.

I will love going to new restaurants that have some of the best chefs around...many who have cooked in restaurants in NY, and many other big cities and made a fine living down here. If they can do it, I can too!

I will love exploring the strangest and UGLIEST bugs I have ever seen and tell my daughter how neat they are. "Well, howdy-do!" ( I sometimes feel like we're in the Amazon, but that's okay!)

I will love that the DMV is in a PHARMACY and not care that it STILL takes 5 hours to get to the front of the line. (where did all these people come from?!)
"Ummm...excuse me. We bozos have the people-of course!"

I will love the beautiful sunsets and the gorgeous stars (not helicopter lights) in the sky. I will love being able to drive my Tahoe onto the beach and have my own little spot where no one will bother me. I will love having a beach bon-fire and making s'mores, or a clam-bake...thing. I will LOVE taking pictures of all the neat places around here, and I will even love going to the local (yet high end) coffee shop to get my "Haute Chocolate"...only some will get that.

I am grateful for the local Wal-Mart (still not a Target), and I am thankful that my husband was the manager of a high-end grocery gourmet store. So when I'm longing for my Baci's, or my Devon's Cream ~ I know where I can find them, and he can tell me when more will be in.

Most of all, I am thankful for my husband, my guy, my all time favorite "blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl" love. Because if he didn't understand me and my crazy talk of loving it here, and the next minute wishing we had a better internet connection; we would both go crazy. I'm glad he's here with me to ease me out of my island-fever, and talk me down the Wright Brothers Memorial Airplane.
"Does anyone want to hear me whine anymore? No? Good! So shutup!"

Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I've had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.
- Katherin Hepburn

One Disney Princess, a Pink Butterfly and Some Innocent Candy

Even though we have been here since August, we are still trying to adjust to living on our island.

For those who don't know, we were almost going to move when John got an offer in PA, but with a lot of pondering and praying, we have decided to stay.

Well, that means all the things I was refusing to unpack...really need to come out. I was unpakcing and cleaning all day and was rushing to get things ready for that night. John was gone for the week, and barely made it home Saturday night to take the girls Trick or Treating at Jalen's school. Since the houses are so spread out here, they do kind of like a 'trunk or treat' but it's at the school, and they actually turn it into a carnival. Jalen had a lot of fun, and I am so surprised Brooklyn kept her hat on from her costume!

Thanks to my sister who sent me that butterfly outfit (B was supposed to be a bumble bee, but the costume was too big) Brooklyn (who is finally in 6-9 mo. clothing, and almost 15 months) got to dress up!

Anyway, they had a good time, and of course everyone knows that it's the parents' duty to make sure their kids get enough candy....so the parents can eat some too! A pretty good chase ensued between John and I resulting in a few broken pieces of candy, Brooklyn laughing thinking we were playing tag and Jalen yelling that if we don't stop "Neither of us get anything!" (I wonder where she got that attitud from?)

My lovely little blog...check it out!

Okay, I somewhat 'stole' that title (from the B.E.P.'s), but I'm writing b/c I've had a few friends call and ask why I haven't written about this or that. I truly love and appreciate all who 'stop in', and believe me, I would MUCH rather be reading what someone else wrote instead of writing mine, but I started this blog just to throw last thoughts, or first-hand experiences out there that have been wandering in my head.

It's actually a release, (although I still write in my journal) that when I'm working on the computer, which has felt like it never ends--I can just switch modes for a minute and type.

And since I'm not naming names (B.K.L.)--instead of calling; you all can comment. Kind of like what you do at a restaurant when you're not happy with the service? Because you know...I'm here to serve you! j/k

I actually love the phone calls better than the comments though. It's just getting off the phone that I have trouble with, right? :)

The Birds

Dear Mr. Construction Man & Gang,

Thank you so much for starting your big riggers, tractors, and whatever that huge machine is out there that slams our 100+ ft. trees to the ground at 6:00 IN THE MORNING.

I am so grateful for this because I have such a hard time getting up to begin with that the explosions I feel literally shaking our house was not good enough.

I am exceptionally happy that my 14 month old daughter wakes up as well...even though she was up the night before because she's teething.

I think I need to make 'dark circles under eyes' a permanent beauty trade of mine.

Oh, and I can't thank you enough for the beautiful birds that are looking for new homes and have decided to fly ALL around our property doing so.

Just when I thought I heard it all, I ALSO get to hear the immensly LOUD and vibrating pecking of a certain woodpecker that thinks the steel part of our chimney can be broken through. It's so fantastic when he does that at night too. (although I AM the stupid one that believed my husband when he told me that birds don't fly at night b/c they're sleeping with the rest of the world....yeah, I know~shut-up).

And also, is Alfred Hitchcock doing a remake of The Birds? Or are my screams of death just for your amusement when a HUGE-ASS bird flies into one our 26 windows from our living room and kitchen? Is that the animal mafia hurling these woodpeckers at me? I promise I'm not responsible! I swear "Over the Hedge" was JUST A MOVIE. Just don't torpedo any Osprey...PLEASE!!

Now where are all your cameras taping my daughter or myself trying to take a walk on our land and being scared off by Bambi and the rest of his gang? I really think they assume we're responsible for ruining their forest considering you all leave to 'hit the waves to surf' at the drop of a hat and we're the only humans around and near their "old stomping grounds".

By the way, who do I send my bill to about the dents on the roof of my car from branches falling out of the trees you're cutting down...or my flat tire from SOMETHING on our lane?

Anway, "We're gonna need you to keep the noise down till about 8AM, MMkay?THAAAANKS!..."

Sincerely,

The Endres Family

P.S. Please tell Billie-Bob that picking his nose and working that monster of a backhoe near my house is NOT an option. Please keep both hands on the controls! And music is fine...as long as it's not from the "Deliverance" soundtrack.

I Write Sins...

Dear Mr. 1997-

I'm sorry there was an instant attraction the moment we saw each other.
I'm sorry you felt the need to "ignore" me b/c you thought I wouldn't be interested in you.
I'm sorry you felt the need to call me after 'ignoring' me for 5 months.
I'm sorry that was the first of a million and one phone calls that lasted till the sun came up.
I'm sorry we had so much in common.
I'm sorry you kissed me.

I'm sorry that first kiss was like a Hollywood Moment --

Act 1 Scene 1:

Knock at door, wonder who it could be, surprised to see you--you cut me off mid-sentence, pull me to you and...WOW. (End Scene 10 minutes later). {one HELL of a kiss}

I couldn't remember anything after that, but definitely remember the song that was playing.

I'm sorry you made me weak everytime I looked at you.

I'm sorry you were so impressive.
I'm sorry you made me laugh.
I'm sorry we loved talking about music.
I'm sorry I still have every CD you made me.
I'm sorry you looked like Matthew McConoughey --hence your nick-name some girl gave you...and let's face it, he's HOT, therefore so were you.
I'm sorry you named me Gorgeous...I never thought I was.
I'm sorry you told me you loved me.
I'm sorry you felt I was your Soul-Mate.
I'm sorry I anticipated your phone calls.

*now if i wrote you a love note
I'm sorry you said you never wanted to kiss anyone else.

and made you smile at every word i wrote (what would you do)

I'm sorry you felt you needed me.

would that make you want to change your scene
I'm sorry I had so much fun with you.

and wanna be the one on my team
I'm sorry I felt safe in your arms.

see what's the point in waiting any more
I'm sorry you were such a gentleman...made me fall for you even more.

cause girl i've never been more sure - (that baby it's you)
I'm sorry every letter, thought, and wish you wrote me was absolutely amazing to read.

this ring here represents my heart
I'm sorry hearing Island in the Sun has scarred me for life...along with a few others.

and everything you've been waiting for -( just say it: i do)
I'm sorry I looked into your eyes.

I'm sorry I let you hurt me.
I'm sorry you abandoned me when I needed you the most.
I'm sorry I realized you were just another guy.
I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it.
I'm sorry you might read this letter and try to call and explain.
I'm sorry, but it's not 1997 anymore.

*from a song

Friendship

I have been missing my friends a lot lately, so this is for all of you...I'm sure I'll be adding to this list in the future

My Friendship List

Friendship is knowing you have a friend no matter how many miles apart you are.

It's knowing that you can totally be yourself--funny faces and everything and they don't care.

That you don't have to be or look perfect all the time.

That you can tell them anything and know they won't judge you.

It's knowing when they have a problem and you're there for them no matter.

And if they drop the ball once in a while...it's still okay.

It's telling them they're irritating you one day, but you still love them no matter what...and that's okay.

It's knowing you don't always have to agree, and appreciating their differences.

That our common bonds are strengthened just by listening to a song.

Having the same favorite ice-cream flavor.

Eating that whole container of ice-cream and not caring one bit.

It's taking that call when they're sad or upset and really feeling for them.

Uplifting them in their joys.

Friendship is knowing that some people were only meant to be in your lives for a certain time or certain reason; and having to say goodbye.

If for some reason you've offended them, and they come out and tell you instead of holding it in.

It's making up a dance for no reason other than recording it in your parent's basement.

It's flying 3,000 miles for their wedding and surprising them.

It's missing them when no one is around....

When that perfect one liner was told, and only they would get...

When they're the only one that knows the hell you've been through and will always stand up for you no matter what.

Sending them a CD of their favorite songs.

Leaving for a road trip in the middle of the night to NYC and having the funnest weekend ever!

And just recently...calling you out of the blue and being so thankful that they did.

For all my friends that have been there for me, I truly hope I have returned the favor.

"Isn't It On the Bumper?"

I took this picture of John's '72 C10 a little while ago, right after his first drag.

It's a little more tasteful than the ones in those magazines...sorry, no exotic girl here!

Some people said they think they saw this bad boy on "Cheech & Chong's Up In Smoke".

I laughed at that one myself, but I love this truck. It was actually one of my best friend's dad's truck and John always wanted to customize it. So when he was selling it, he sold it to John.

Now I'm getting more and more impatient, b/c I told my husband that when he was done rebuilding his, I get mine.

At least I get to drive his for now. Haven't gotten a ticket yet, and it's very easy to have that happen when you feel how powerful and fast it goes!

I'll just play "Lowrider" by Santana and maybe that'll set the pace.

Nothing Important, Really

I love music, I used to put a different type of CD on every night to fall asleep to when I was younger. Thank goodness for MP3 players, b/c my husband needs silence. He tolerates me though, I appreciate that. Lately I've been listening to a lot of Nelly Furtado's new stuff. I like her new album. And the Elva album from Unwritten Law is always a favorite. That's more of a driving in my car kind of CD though. Seein Red is a good song on a 'fall asleep' playlist.

I've made a few playlists of different kinds of songs to fall asleep to. U2 is a must in all of them. I know this is going to sound cliche, but I love Bono, and their sound is just awesome to me. And I can't forget the Cranberries...I love them too.

When I go running, I used to take my player with me, but when I go on the beach, that is so much more calming to me. When the sun is about to set, and the waves are crashing, there's something that's in tune with your inner self. It mesmerizes you...takes you away. I could stay there for hours and just feel at peace.

Things get so crazy sometimes that the little things...or some as big as the ocean go unnoticed.
I hate hardships, and in my life there have been enough, but like those crashing waves washing up to the sand creating a new beach, they make you and mould you into a new and (hopefully) more understanding, mature person.

I sometimes wonder, if I dig far enough down in the sand, if I will see some beautiful shell that's been hiding there for a while. Sometimes I do. I wonder how it got there, how hard the waves were hitting that day this shell washed up; how long it was waiting to be discovered.

For a long time, I thought I was waiting for someone to find me, to make me happy. We are always evolving and I know that; but it wasn't until I was in college that I did that for myself. I 'found' a good part of 'myself' during those years and saw that I was strong and I can make myself happy. I didn't need anyone to do that for me. They can add to it...but not do it all. My husband adds to it a lot!

I realized that when you do that for yourself with the knowledge that you deserve all that is good in the world, that anything feels so attainable! I know what I'm writing isn't rocket science, but so many people go through this world waiting for something or someone to 'save' them from the hell in their lives. I don't know how long they're willing to wait, but God didn't say "Meet Me halfway" for nothing. And I don't have that much patience.

My Birthday!

Today is my birthday...the last of my 20's. WOW! 29! I feel old! But I think it's because of all the running around I do with my kids! :)

Well, I am going to have fun today! I love birthdays actually. My mom used to make them special for us growing up, still does actually; and I want to carry that on with my kids.

It should be special anyway...it's the day you came into this world! Not saying that everyone needs to call and tell you Happy Birthday (although I really thank my family & friends who did! ;) )
But it should be special for you! Do something nice, something fun.

I like to make goals for myself to accomplish throughout the year. I really try to work hard at it and see if I can do it all.

Anyway, hope this doesn't sound arrogant but... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!

Addictions

What is an addiction? Well, they say that in order to start a habit (or break one for that matter) you need to go the said 21 days. If you do (or don't do) something for 21 days, it will stick.

Okay, I understand that, and have actually tried it. And it does work! But then there's these things called relapses. I'm not on a drinking binge or something, so don't get me wrong. I'm just talking about anything. A big addiction of mine is Chocolate. There's no way I would even attempt in stopping that. But do I wish I could let it go? Sometimes, when I get on the scale. My goal is 120. Think I can do it?

That would result if I can create the habit of running every day. Which I love doing. I love feeling the sweat, the burn...feeling out of breath and knowing it was worth it. When I run really hard, it reminds me of Hell Week in Track back in H.S. I hated it, but it felt good!

And what about other addictions? That friend you wish you can stop talking to b/c they make you so mad sometimes and you wonder "What's the point?", but then your realize as much as you hate them, they're your best friend for a reason.

That blog you wish you could stop commenting on that your friend started, but it's just so damn funny, or heartwarming...or funny!

Calling your sister to ask her what the ingredients are for that awesome chocolate cake. I could write it down, and I think I did; but maybe I call her cause I feel the need to talk to someone as crazy as I am.

I'm addicted to taking pictures. I could take a million pictures in a day if my battery on my digital camera could keep up!

Dancing!!!! I could go on...Salsa, ballet, hip-hop...just plain going to a club and feeling the music. Oh! Music! I'm addicted to that too. I have a million and one songs of all kinds of music. I love it all.

Psychology, I never get tired of it! People thought I was crazy to have that as my major in college, but I LOVED it! Don't you have to be a little crazy for that major anyway? I think it's a requirement.

I'm addicted to love. (NOT the Robert Palmer song, but the real thing). I know that's why I'm a Wedding Planner. I love being in love.

And believe it or not, I think Love is a really BIG addiction. When you fall in love with someone, the process of trying to 'fall out' of it takes so long!

Like when you break up with someone for any other reason except you made a HUGE mistake and the guy is CRAZY, stalker, calls 29 times a day psycho (because it's really easy to fall out of love then), you still have some feelings for them!

And more times than not, you're going to find something that reminds you of them, be it a song, or a car they drove or whatever...and then you're back thinking "I wonder what they're doing now..."
I do that still!...to my husband! I will hear a song that we used to listen to when we were dating, and revert back to that time. If he's in the car with me I'll do the stupid wife thing and say "Do you remember this song?!" And just to humor me he'll get all mushy.
(I do love that though)

But even with past loves/experiences, we know we loved them for a reason.
They brought out the best in you, the worst, happy times, fights, trips you took together, first dances, phone calls that lasted till the sun came up, first kisses, poetry, soul-revealing letters, mixed tapes to mixed CD's with songs they that made them think of you, or you two together, proposals, marriage.

We even love the break up. Break ups go down in history! Look at Casablanca. Bogart let his ex, his one true love get away. Gone With the Wind: Rhett left Scarlett at the door...he didn't give a damn anymore.

Which I believe Rhett didn't...at the time. But I think he came back, I'd like to think he did anyway. And in between, you KNOW he thought about Scarlett. She was his kryptonite.

And my new total favorite...The Notebook. What a break up! What an ending as well...
How sad would you be if you met your soulmate and couldn't be with them? For those who haven't seen the movie...I won't say anything else. But totally worth seeing it. Even if you are a guy!

I guess whether it was good or bad...like the old saying goes "It all happened for a reason." We wouldn't be who we are today for those people/experiences and for that I'm grateful.
I don't ever want to forget any of those memories, good or bad.

So here's to addictions...and hopefully the one I will never quit: Love.

Being Pregnant

I spoke to a friend out in Utah the other day who is pregnant and doesn't even LOOK like she is.
Then another friend f/AZ called me last night to tell me his wife is 4 months pregnant and her hormones are all over the place.

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I gained over 65 lbs. I was the blimp of all blimps.
In fact, one of my nick-names to this day from my cool husband is Buddha Babe... because I was huge.
I went from 123 to...add 65+ to that, and that's what I was.

My first friend tried to argue that it didn't matter what I weighed because I was so skinny BEFORE I had my girl. Yeah, weak argument. Considering I've had my second daughter and STILL trying to lose the last 7 lbs.!!!

As for friend#2, I know what it feels like to have your body out of whack, and you have no control over it. The only thing I can say is try to have as much patience as you can.
We women really do appreciate it in the end. I won't deny that women deal with 99% of the pregnancy, but I know the men have their times too.

What I want to know is who are all these men that have 'cravings' and 'morning sickness' along with their wives/girlfriends?!!! I've even heard women say that it was 'so sweet'!

Let me tell you something, that's great you want to sympathize and all, but come on!...when you're having "contractions" along w/her; you're really just trying to get out of some sort of housework, right?

Aside from that, today is my 4 year anniversary and was very happy that I got to spend the whole day with my husband. What did we do? We had a romantic 2-mile run together on the beach, and then took care of our kids ALL day! Jealous, huh? :) Yeah, we're hot!

That's the downside of where we live: Absolutely beautiful area...absolutely no one we know around.
Since we've moved here, we've gotten to know a few people, but not good enough to leave our kids with them. That's okay, we'll celebrate later. I actually had a lot of fun today, believe it or not!

Congratulations!

My longtime friend since the sixth grade is getting married on Friday!!!
He is a great guy and will make an awesome husband. I'm just glad I don't have to sort out his girl problems anymore! (j/k)
I am so happy for him, and wish him the best. Don't stress! Everything will be great!

As a wedding planner, I have one piece of advice: Don't forget the Marriage License!!!
Oh, and take a chance and look around and savor the day, it will go by sooo fast!

Okay, two pieces of advice, but handy ones at that! :)

More Typing To Do

So some of my friends have been telling me to do a personal blog aside from the one for my company.
Why? It's just more typing I have to do, and isn't life busy as it is?
I know this sounds like I could care less, which is true...no, just kidding.
The truth is, I think these blogs are a great idea. It keeps people (family, friends, etc.) in touch when their lives do seem so hectic.
I think they're for people like me who are up till 4 in the morning working on the computer (b/c it's the only quiet time a mother gets to herself) to take a break and see what everyone is up to without calling them in the middle of the night!

Lately I've been thinking about the winter coming here on the east coast, and I'm always reminded of one of my first winters on moving back here for college. My roommate and I threw this big party and no one had a CLUE it was snowing outside. We were up till about 3:30, when we looked outside to see everything COVERED in two and a half feet of snow.
Everyone went outside and we had the biggest snow fight ever! My gosh it was so fun! All our friends crashed at our house because no one could get out! By morning, it was about 3 1/2 feet deep and the plowers hadn't come through yet! By the time they did, a few of us went to Denny's. Ahhh, Denny's! The stories those wall could tell, huh?