The Birds

Dear Mr. Construction Man & Gang,

Thank you so much for starting your big riggers, tractors, and whatever that huge machine is out there that slams our 100+ ft. trees to the ground at 6:00 IN THE MORNING.

I am so grateful for this because I have such a hard time getting up to begin with that the explosions I feel literally shaking our house was not good enough.

I am exceptionally happy that my 14 month old daughter wakes up as well...even though she was up the night before because she's teething.

I think I need to make 'dark circles under eyes' a permanent beauty trade of mine.

Oh, and I can't thank you enough for the beautiful birds that are looking for new homes and have decided to fly ALL around our property doing so.

Just when I thought I heard it all, I ALSO get to hear the immensly LOUD and vibrating pecking of a certain woodpecker that thinks the steel part of our chimney can be broken through. It's so fantastic when he does that at night too. (although I AM the stupid one that believed my husband when he told me that birds don't fly at night b/c they're sleeping with the rest of the world....yeah, I know~shut-up).

And also, is Alfred Hitchcock doing a remake of The Birds? Or are my screams of death just for your amusement when a HUGE-ASS bird flies into one our 26 windows from our living room and kitchen? Is that the animal mafia hurling these woodpeckers at me? I promise I'm not responsible! I swear "Over the Hedge" was JUST A MOVIE. Just don't torpedo any Osprey...PLEASE!!

Now where are all your cameras taping my daughter or myself trying to take a walk on our land and being scared off by Bambi and the rest of his gang? I really think they assume we're responsible for ruining their forest considering you all leave to 'hit the waves to surf' at the drop of a hat and we're the only humans around and near their "old stomping grounds".

By the way, who do I send my bill to about the dents on the roof of my car from branches falling out of the trees you're cutting down...or my flat tire from SOMETHING on our lane?

Anway, "We're gonna need you to keep the noise down till about 8AM, MMkay?THAAAANKS!..."

Sincerely,

The Endres Family

P.S. Please tell Billie-Bob that picking his nose and working that monster of a backhoe near my house is NOT an option. Please keep both hands on the controls! And music is fine...as long as it's not from the "Deliverance" soundtrack.